Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: I am your mother.
You'll listen to me.
[00:00:04] Speaker B: He loves me.
[00:00:05] Speaker A: Hey, guys.
Hey.
[00:00:07] Speaker B: Welcome back to Spill the Tea Unfiltered.
That was Tupac, our mascot. He was hanging out with us for a minute. Now he's eating something.
[00:00:14] Speaker A: What are you eating?
Look, he is definitely a gas station cat because he will literally eat anything.
[00:00:22] Speaker B: Bless him.
[00:00:23] Speaker A: They found him behind a gas station and actually named him Wavaho, but I had to rename him Tupa because he was not a Wavaho. He didn't even respond to that name.
[00:00:32] Speaker B: Also, Wabaho is a gas station. FYI, we're not. We're not being racist. Yeah, like, that's a gas station here.
He's just sweet.
So how was your week?
[00:00:44] Speaker A: Besides you trying to murder me, I would never.
Okay, okay, guys.
So it was a busy week for me, right? Working a lot, getting through school. Lauren's like, hey, I really want you to go to burn with me. And I'm like.
I'm like, yeah, I don't even know if I have time for this, right? But I was finally. I caved like, an hour prior to going. And it's a 45 minute drive over there, by the way. So I was like, you know what? Like, I'll go. I didn't think about, like, even eating.
All I had was, like, a small salad all day long because I, like, did not feel like eating all day. And so I get there and y', all, I barely walked out of there. My legs were hurting so bad. They were jello. And like, at one point, like, I had my legs up and we had, like, this ball, and I was like, okay, like, I gotta put it on the side because, like, it's too much. And like, the lady walked past, she said, I think you're ready and put the ball back.
I was not ready.
[00:01:43] Speaker B: I forget which trainer that was. That's funny.
[00:01:46] Speaker A: But yeah, like, I literally the whole week, like, walking around at work, I'm like, I'm sorry, guys. Like, I am dying. I'm like, are you sure you. I like, I barely. I could not even sit on the toilet. Like, it hurts so bad.
[00:01:58] Speaker B: I told you that was gonna be the worst part is try to sit on the toilet.
[00:02:00] Speaker A: I had regrets. I, like, literally had to consuming so much water because I drink a lot during the day because I did not want to go to the bathroom.
[00:02:07] Speaker B: And let's talk about how you have regrets yet. You're a mascus because what did you do?
[00:02:13] Speaker A: Oh, because I want to be skinny. I signed up.
[00:02:16] Speaker B: You don't want to be skinny. You want to be in shape. That's what it is. You want to be able to fight.
No, I want to be.
You want to be able to fight the demons.
[00:02:24] Speaker A: I want to be skinny. So. Funny story.
So I was on Facebook the other day, and this girl was talking about how bad GLP was, and I commented and I told my mom about my comment after, and I was like, well, hey, now at least my family can carry me and my casket.
And my mom's like, please stop saying that.
[00:02:43] Speaker B: I say that all the time. I'm like, I'd rather. At least I'll die skinny. Not bad.
[00:02:47] Speaker A: At least y' all can carry me now. You're welcome.
[00:02:50] Speaker B: I'm just making it easy.
[00:02:52] Speaker A: She's like, can you stop making jokes about you dying? And I'm like, I'm just waiting for the day, man. I'm looking forward to it.
[00:02:57] Speaker B: Amen.
We're just trying to make it easy on our. On our family. That's it.
Yeah. Well, so your sister. I had, like, trapped her, and now she's addicted to burn, too. So I think that helps drag you in, because me and her are together all the time now, and I'm like,
[00:03:11] Speaker A: come over to the dark side.
[00:03:13] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:03:13] Speaker A: And also, like, what am I to do on a Saturday when y' all are at Burn now?
[00:03:16] Speaker B: Yeah.
It's fun and addicting. You're gonna love it.
[00:03:20] Speaker A: It's fine until I'm dead.
[00:03:22] Speaker B: Yeah, it's been. Well, hey, I've been getting up at some 5am classes for your sister, which has been killing me. Like, this morning, I was like, I'm gonna die.
[00:03:30] Speaker A: My day starts at.
[00:03:31] Speaker B: At 3am yeah. Which is crazy to me. I couldn't do that.
So after I went to Burn this morning, I went to do my run, and there were some guys mowing where I went to run, and there were several women, like, on the trail, and all of us are by ourselves, but we're all, like, passing each other and everything. And they were catcalling every single one of us, and it was so gross. I was just like, why do you. Why do you think it's okay to, like, cat call us to tell us our butts look good? To tell us, like, they were literally
[00:04:10] Speaker A: yelling at your butt look good.
[00:04:11] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:04:11] Speaker A: Gross.
[00:04:12] Speaker B: Yeah. I was like, that's not okay.
[00:04:14] Speaker A: You should report it to whoever, like, owns the park so that they don't hire that landscaping company again.
[00:04:20] Speaker B: Yeah, I was.
[00:04:21] Speaker A: You should. You guys should feel safe while y'. All.
[00:04:23] Speaker B: Well, and that's just it, because then what happens is, like, when you're out on these trails, like, I. When I was, like, circling back, I didn't want to run past them unless I had, like, other people around. So, like, I, like, stopped running and waited till there were people, and then I just kind of followed them because I didn't want to be alone because. And that's just. Again, men are never going to feel this. They don't know what it's like to feel this, to have. To feel like, oh, I have to stop my workout because there's a group of men over there, and if they really wanted to, they could grab me and rape me in the woods.
Like, that's awful. And for them to make us feel that way and to make me feel, like, threatened almost, because you're cat calling me. So it's just gross. Like, I just. I just don't like that. Like, don't. If you want to tell a woman, like, hey, you're really pretty or something, but don't interrupt her workout. Don't come up to her and make her feel cornered.
[00:05:15] Speaker A: Like, don't yell at her from across the field.
[00:05:18] Speaker B: Yeah. Like, don't do any of that creepy stuff. Like, just don't be a creep about it. Like, it's just.
It's just gross. Like, I. I don't know. It just makes me angry because I'm like, what year is it?
Have we still not learned? But, yeah. So you have a story you're gonna read for us post on a public forum. So you're gonna read it and we're gonna have a. A chat about it.
[00:05:37] Speaker A: Yeah. So somebody posted this on one of the public forums. It says, y', all, I'm struggling emotionally and super torn. I need advice. Long read about marriage issues.
My husband and I start. Have been in our relationship for over 15 years. Started dating when I was 20 and he was 27. We officially got married and had our wedding when I was 28. Had our first and only child when I was 33. And this time we both have seen absolute, absolutely solid to each other. No lying, no cheating, no mind games or abuse.
I have always, since day one, considered him my best friend as well as my romantic partner.
Our chemistry and understanding of each other, I feel, could never be matched. He has always been my person, but after our first child, obviously, everything in our world changed and was different for us. Combined with my postpartum depression and the life changes. Understandably, we've been struggling to be kind to each other, but we are trying.
It has now been 2.8 years since we became parents and in the parenthood aspect, I think we are absolutely rocking it. We cooperate, we sacrifice for the greater good. Her life experience and she is a notably very, very happy and confident and loving child. She's literally a ray of sunshine and she makes it apparent that she views he and I as a team rather than separate people. However, behind the scenes, my husband and I both absolutely boiling over with 2.8 years of resentment with making this post significantly longer than it already is.
Both of us feel like we are doing way more than the other in various ways household, emotional, financial, etc.
There is more nuisance to this, but I won't drag this post out.
It has gotten to the point where we pretty much function like platonic but resentful roommates who also platonically share a mattress. At the end of the day. Our communication with each other is pretty much only discussing parent moments and methods and heated arguments about our various grievances with each other. He is no longer the man I vowed my devotion to and I figured it's the same for him too. My love and devotion and desire for him is still there, but at this point I feel hopeless. I feel like I live with just some guy who I honestly hate a little bit, but at the same time he is absolutely stellar father to the child we planned for and had together.
He has become extremely disappointing as a husband, but there is nobody else on this earth who could ever match up to be her daddy. And on top of that I absolutely adore his whole family. His parents and aunts and uncles and cousins are like blood to me, especially his mom. I have never had a pleasant relationship with my mom and my mother in law is a thousand percent the mom I always wish I had. She's my dog.
But yet for the last three years I have been miserable in my marriage. I feel like I've lost him like sand through my fingers. I resent him so much for how he has been towards me for the last 2.8 years. I almost don't even recognize him anymore. All we do is argue, if we even speak at all. I have thoroughly tried to communicate my thoughts and feelings to him about this in various ways, from upfront discussions to talking to his parents about it, to giving him notes and letters. I feel forgotten, neglected, abandoned, like I've suddenly became his nemesis. I absolutely reject the idea of divorcing him for for various personal reasons, but at the same time I completely am miserable in my marriage. I miss my husband, I miss my best friend and I hate how I feel about him. Now, parts of me say that we can. We should divorce because I truly cannot see an end to this resentment. And the other part of me says, no, this can be fixed somehow. I don't know. I'm sorry for such a long post, but I'm desperate here. He is not the type to agree to marriage counseling. What should I do?
[00:09:53] Speaker B: Okay, so that's what I was gonna start with. I have a lot of feelings about this post.
I have a lot. Some very controversial things that Lauren is about to say.
But before I get into that, my first thought was marriage counseling. Like, they need to go to marriage
[00:10:09] Speaker A: counseling while I was reading it.
[00:10:10] Speaker B: Marriage counseling immediately. And if he's refusing to, then that's a him problem. And it also makes me wonder what type of person he truly is. Is he really as good of a person as you say he is? Because what kind of man doesn't want to go to marriage counseling to save their marriage?
[00:10:24] Speaker A: He has to understand that it's not just spilling your business out to a third party.
It goes deeper than that. And there is actually a purpose behind therapy. So maybe just educating him more on the actual intentions of therapy so that you can go through intentional healing.
[00:10:42] Speaker B: And maybe. I don't know if. If he would feel more comfortable going by himself first and having a conversation with the therapist first and seeing how he does with that and. And him actually seeing, like, the benefits of it, maybe. Because everyone can benefit from therapy. Every single person. And it is May is mental health awareness month, so. And, you know, we love some therapy up in here.
[00:11:04] Speaker A: We do.
[00:11:05] Speaker B: So that would be my thing, is I would almost give him, like, an ultimatum, like, hey, we aren't the same people.
Because she's. She's saying. She's saying that she knows that she's probably disappointing him too, because it sounds like they're both harboring resentment. And so obviously, she's also changed in the marriage. So, you know, they need to go somewhere to see how to. If they can and how to move forward with it. And if they. If he still refuses to go, then at that point, either you're staying in a loveless marriage, in a marriage where you're not happy for your child. Which people do. I have several friends who are currently in that situation.
Or you divorce and try to build your life separate, but hopefully happier so that your daughter sees that happiness that they. That they can have.
It's awesome that you guys aren't showing her all this like, that she doesn't know it. Also, she's too young to see it yet because there will be things that the problem is, is the older you guys get, the more resentment you have towards each other. And the older she gets, the more she will see, she will see it. So that's something to think about. Like you can think you're doing as good of a job as you want, but kids are intuitive and they will see it.
So now for the controversial part.
[00:12:18] Speaker A: Dun dun, dun.
[00:12:21] Speaker B: Notice when it all started 2.8 years ago, when she had a kid.
And this is why Lauren is child free by choice.
[00:12:29] Speaker A: I think when you have a kid, it changes a lot.
Like, you know, we get like, we obsess over, we want to raise our children to be really good people. Right.
So then it really does drive away from the marriage. So you have to really focus in and realize that it's marriage first. And children comes back below that.
[00:12:47] Speaker B: Yep.
[00:12:48] Speaker A: Because really, like when you put your marriage first, your child will flow with that.
[00:12:53] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:12:54] Speaker A: But if you put your child above your husband or your wife, then you're going to come across problems.
[00:13:00] Speaker B: Yes. My dad always told me, I love you, but I loved your mother first, always.
And it stuck with me. And I've somehow picked horrible men. But you know, I, I, I always respected him for that. And I think that that's one of the reasons why they've made it this long and because they're about to hit 44 years in June. But here's the thing. A lot of people have kids because that's what society tells them to do.
I truly believe that the people who are child free by choice are the ones that actually think it through.
Like, sure, there's women out there who are like, I know I've always wanted to be a mother, but I think there are a lot of people who just have kids because that's what you're supposed to do. That is the next step. That's what you're supposed to do. And people always say, well, they'll make, they'll make comments about people who are child free by choice saying that we're selfish or whatever the case may be. And I'm like, no, actually, we actually thought it through. We actually thought it through because here's what ends up happening. And I've seen this in multiple of my friends and other people's marriages. Marriage was perfect, everything was fine. Then they have a kid.
[00:14:06] Speaker A: But I mean, I think that also goes back to just not focusing on marriage.
[00:14:10] Speaker B: Well, that's it.
[00:14:11] Speaker A: Like, I don't think it's really like the kid's fault.
[00:14:13] Speaker B: It's not the kid's fault like, or
[00:14:15] Speaker A: like not that it would be the kid's fault, but like having the kid isn't the problem. It's realizing the importance of your marriage still when you bring a family in.
[00:14:23] Speaker B: Yeah, I think that's the. But I think that's the issue is that juggling that is especially balance.
It's not there and it's hard today to even do that, especially with like both parents having to work a lot of times because the economy is so expensive and everything else. And I. And again, I think that's what. What people don't realize the amount of
[00:14:43] Speaker A: people now because it's hard to make it on just one.
[00:14:47] Speaker B: Right? That's right.
[00:14:48] Speaker A: Yeah. So like the. The men are probably feeling a little resentment because they're having to work additional because the mom's having to stay at home. But daycare is too expensive to send your kid to daycare.
[00:14:58] Speaker B: Or the mom's having to work and they are sending the kids to daycare. And then on top of that, the husband's upset because he doesn't want to have to clean the house or cook. And then the woman's upset because she's working and doing everything because a lot of women are having to do both. So they're carrying the home load and they're working. And so that ends up being an issue.
I have talked with several people who have kids who love their children. Do not get me wrong, they love their children, but every single one of them said they would not do it again. If they could go back, they probably wouldn't have done it because it destroyed their marriage.
They had a great marriage prior to that situation to having kids. And again because once it's broken, a lot of times it's just broken. Like you can try to forget that he cheated. You can try to for, you know, get rid of the resentfulness, you know, because a lot of times men will cheap. They say their reasons are, well, my wife doesn't give me anything anymore or my wife, you know, let. Let herself go and whatever. And that's never bald. Right. And that's never a reason to cheat because there's no reason to cheat. Just leave. But they still a lot of times that hap. Like that part happens after the kids because the mom gets so busy in kid world because the kids are reliant more most of the time on the mother. So then they're so busy and then the mom's exhausted. So the mom's like, I feel like I haven't had any Help. I'm tired. And. And the husband's like, well, I've worked all day too. I'm tired. And so then it just builds that resentment up. And because there isn't communication and because you're both being stubborn and not in holding resentment and not going to therapy, that's when there's an issue. Because I. I'm not kidding. There were marriages who were great, and then they had kids and they're no longer great. And a lot of them either cheated or they're already divorced or. Or they're staying together for the kids. And as soon as the kids get old enough, they're gonna leave.
[00:16:52] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:16:52] Speaker B: And already you're planning it.
So think real hard before you have children. That's my.
That's my story. That's what I think women need to really think about before they have kids. Like, if you want a kid, that is great. That's beautiful. Good for you. I love my friends that have kids. I love being an aunt. But truly, actually think about it. Are you okay with everything changing? Because everything will change. So really dig deep in there and think about that. Like, are you okay?
Your marriage will not be the same. It just won't. After you have a kid, it's just not going to be the same. So are you. Are you okay with that? And truly, truly think about it. Just really think before you do it. And I hate that this person's going through this, but if he won't go to therapy, then there's. That's literally it. Like, you either go to therapy or you as the woman have to be like, fake it till you make it. I don't. Or divorce. Like, those are your options at the end of the day.
[00:17:50] Speaker A: Like, you guys have to really. Like, you'll have to find a way to give each other grace. This is all of our first time living.
We're all trying to just figure it out.
I'm sure for you with your postpartum depression, there are probably really hard times for you. And that he doesn't understand that. He didn't understand what the hormones felt like. He didn't understand that you were at home with the baby and you were isolated and where you probably were very social prior. Like, now your friends have disappeared. Because that always happens when you get pregnant. You have a newborn. Like, you see your friends a lot less.
Your husband's working. He's busy all the time. When he comes home, he's stressed out. Like, that's tough. And he has to be able to give you grace for that and understand that there are going to be times where, like, in a relationship, you have to choose each other over and over again.
[00:18:38] Speaker B: That's what a healthy relationship is anyway, right? Like, it's. It's choosing to be together every day, even when it's hard, and choosing to still love each other even when it's hard.
I hope that with your postpartum, you yourself went to therapy and. Or preferably and, you know, had some medication help and stuff. I have, you know, a lot of friends that have also dealt with that, but they were able to. Most of them were able to get the help that they needed.
And that makes a huge difference for mothers. And it's not a shameful thing. It's one of those stigmatized things that shouldn't be stigmatized because it's literally, you can't help it. It's your hormones changing. Like, there's nothing you can do to. To help that part. But what it sounds like is you guys are resenting each other because one of you feels like you're doing everything at home. Maybe the other one is doing everything financially, and you're resenting each other for that. And that's where you guys are going to have to compromise and come up with something in between. You're going to need to go to therapy so you can work it all out.
That that's really your only option. Like, you either figure out how to work it out or you don't.
[00:19:40] Speaker A: But I also think that it would probably really benefit both of you if you guys take time out for your marriage. Take time out, plan a date, but do something that both of you guys enjoy. Don't just go out to dinner and have a conversation like, find. Find a hobby that both of you enjoy, that both of you guys are passionate about, whether. Whether you now like to exercise together or that you guys like going to do hikes together or whatever the case may be. Find a. Find a hobby that you two dedicate time to each other and you choose not to talk about the serious stuff during that time. Just enjoy each other's company until y' all are comfortable to talk about the serious matters again.
[00:20:19] Speaker B: Yeah, I think that's good advice. I think a lot of people do, like, the weekly thing where, like, every week the, you know, on a Saturday, the grandparents or a babysitter watches the kids, like, during the day so that you can go out and, like, have your own time. Because I do think that that's important to continue to make time for each other.
There's even, like, all these books nowadays where, like, the date books and stuff where, like, I bought one for us for a friend date.
[00:20:44] Speaker A: She did.
[00:20:45] Speaker B: Like, there's all these books that give you ideas of, like, things to go do and everything. And, like, in the city, anywhere I travel or live, I make a bucket list for that area. There's a ton to do.
[00:20:57] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:20:58] Speaker B: So just, like, make a crazy bucket list and go, like, start working your way through it every week, you know,
[00:21:02] Speaker A: and give yourself something to talk about throughout the week, too. If you take on a hobby that both of you guys are passionate about, that's what you're going to want to talk about. You guys have to rekindle that flame again and find something that is both. Like, both of you guys are interested in.
[00:21:15] Speaker B: That's not your child.
[00:21:16] Speaker A: That is not your child. Because we, you know, you love your child. Both of y' all do. Y' all know that already.
[00:21:22] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:21:22] Speaker A: Find something besides that and dedicate and put your marriage first.
[00:21:26] Speaker B: Yep. Yeah. I 100 agree.
[00:21:28] Speaker A: And I promise that your baby will love it just as much.
[00:21:31] Speaker B: Yeah. And again, your baby's so young, like, leaving your baby for a few hours and also training them young to do that. Like one of my friends. So we still do our annual girls trip every year, and then her husband has an annuals guide trip every year. And we kept doing it through the years for through. There's four of us. Two of them have kids now, and we still do that every single year. And I think that's important, too. It's also having that separate outlet. But her kids are used to her leaving. Like, they're. They're okay.
Like, she's explained to them that they got so used to it while they were young, and that she can explain to them, like, hey, mommy's gonna be gone for a couple days, but, you know, I'll be back. She still calls them at night and everything else, but the kids don't freak out. You know, it's not because they're so used. They're used to it. Like, you know, you gotta. You can't. I have another friend who basically lost herself and her kid and to the point that, like, she couldn't go anywhere without him screaming. And I was like, you have got to start like this. This is an unhealthy attachment that's happening. And so you need to make sure that you can actually, like, still go live your life, because it's okay to still live a life as a parent without your kids all the time.
It is okay. Like, this parent guilt. We got to get rid of the Parent guilt. That.
[00:22:45] Speaker A: That's, like, it's okay for your kids to go hang out with grandma or, like, a really cool babysitter, because, honestly, they enjoy that time, too. Like, oh, yeah, they need that time, too.
[00:22:55] Speaker B: The girls that I. That I hung out with for a week, for my. One of my best friends, we had a blast. They got to eat ice cream.
[00:23:00] Speaker A: And my nephews be asking me. They're like, can I come kick it with you? Like, I'm tired of hanging out with my parents. Anytime, bro. Come on.
[00:23:07] Speaker B: Yeah, it's. And I mean, it's obviously easier when they're older, right? Like, it is easier when the kids get older.
[00:23:11] Speaker A: They were like, we want to. We want to go to grandma's house. We want to go see our aunt. They're like, we need time to.
[00:23:18] Speaker B: Yeah. And I. I think that's healthy, too. So definitely rely on your village. Cause it sounds like you have one. Even if it's his village and not really yours, they're still yours. You know, you guys are married, and you do have a kid, and that kid is still going to be their family whether you end up divorced or not. So rely on.
On that family. So I hope you were able to work this out or are able to work it out. I would just say, like, don't make any rash decisions. Don't just jump straight to divorce. I mean, it sounds like you've honestly holding on to resentment for the almost three years that you've been holding on to. It's too long. Like, this should have been talked about way before that. So I hope that you guys are able to.
Because it's hard to get rid of that many years of resentment. That's hard. So I hope you're able to work through it.
[00:24:04] Speaker A: I don't think it all has to be talked about in one night either.
[00:24:07] Speaker B: No, it's gonna take time.
[00:24:08] Speaker A: Like I said, like, get a hobby, enjoy each other again, and then start talking about some of the things that y' all can work through. But at that time, like, when you're talking about those resentments, you also have to realize y' all are working together against the problem. And it's not you against him. It's y' all are working together against a problem.
[00:24:26] Speaker B: Right? And for those that don't have kids yet, the society tells you you have to, but you don't.
[00:24:30] Speaker A: You don't have to have kids if you don't want to have kids. You don't have to have kids if you want to have kids. Like, I'm happy for You.
[00:24:37] Speaker B: But, but let's stop shaming each other.
[00:24:40] Speaker A: But also let's stop having kids that we don't want to have. And then we're partying and we're living our lives and grandma's now, and grandpa is now raising children. Because I see that all the time now. And that's. It's not good for the kids. It's not fair to them.
If you want to have kids, have kids, but if not, let's think about safe practices to prevent that.
[00:25:02] Speaker B: Yeah, I think that's the issue that I have is people really need to think before they have children. Like, it's not just the next step. Like, you don't have to have kids. Like, truly sit down and think about what your life will be like with a child, the financial strain that that will cause because kids are expensive and this economy is insane.
Think about, think through every single thing before you just say, well, we're married and this the next step. We should have a baby. Like, actually think through it and talk about it. Because. And that's the other thing is like, I hate in today's time that there's all these accidents. I'm like, how is there an. How.
There's so many ways and it's so like contraception you can get easily accident.
[00:25:41] Speaker A: It happens once, but it didn't happen four times.
[00:25:43] Speaker B: Correct.
So let's really think about it before we start just popping on babies.
[00:25:49] Speaker A: Yeah. And I mean, like, I support anybody, like, because, I mean, there's a lot of moms out there who have always just wanted to be sure and even maybe they weren't like completely financial ready. Like, maybe they're going to be a little poor while they're doing this. Okay, whatever.
[00:26:00] Speaker B: Well, that's their choice. Like, if you're cool with that. I, I could not give up trips to Europe.
[00:26:05] Speaker A: Yeah, well, we're different. We also chose not to have kids. I don't want a kid because I don't want to send my kid to school with a bulletproof backpack fair. I don't like the world we live in. So I don't want to have a child and bring it into this world.
[00:26:18] Speaker B: That's.
[00:26:18] Speaker A: I don't like it here.
[00:26:19] Speaker B: Yeah, same.
[00:26:20] Speaker A: So, but everybody's different and, but, but
[00:26:25] Speaker B: I don't like this narrative that like the child free because there's a bunch of child, like child free stuff on Instagram now that I follow.
And there's like a narrative where people like, especially like parents are like, bashing the childfree community. And I'm like, Leave us alone. Like, it's okay for us to have our. Our space of being child free.
[00:26:45] Speaker A: Well, I think they also feel like
[00:26:46] Speaker B: we're attacking, but we're not. We're just saying that we're choosing to not have kids because of X, Y and Z. And then parents will be like, well, I can still do those things. Well, good. That's great.
[00:26:56] Speaker A: And some parents can and some can't.
[00:26:58] Speaker B: Correct. And I. And we're just, we really thought it through in the childfree community. So that's why we're choosing to be child free.
[00:27:05] Speaker A: And.
[00:27:05] Speaker B: And I, I'm like, we. We aren't bashing parents.
Like, that's great if you want to be a parent. I just hope that anybody that is a parent actually thought it through and actually wants to have children. Because if you don't and you're not sure, being not sure is not a good reason to have kids because.
[00:27:27] Speaker A: Or being in an active addiction and then choosing to have a child.
[00:27:30] Speaker B: Right.
[00:27:30] Speaker A: Please don't stop. Yeah, stop it.
Stop having children when you're in an active addiction. Please get therapy.
[00:27:38] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. You've had to see that a lot more than I have. I haven't really had to deal with that, but yeah, so keep being good parents to your children, but also take care of yourselves and your relationships and focus on that, too. Because without a healthy marriage and without a healthy relationship, your children will still suffer whether you see it or not. They will.
[00:27:57] Speaker A: Absolutely.
[00:27:58] Speaker B: So.
All right, well, that was our story for this week, and we'll see you next time.
[00:28:03] Speaker A: Bye, guys.
[00:28:04] Speaker B: This episode is proudly brought to you by the law firm Ryan and Rouse. If you or a loved one have been injured or need legal help for changing family circumstances, contact the personal injury and family law attorneys at Ryan and rouse today at 2568011000 or visit them online at www.alabamalaw. com. When your future is on the line, don't go at it alone.
