Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Hey, guys. Welcome back to Spill the Tea, unfiltered.
How are you guys doing? How are you doing? I guess I should say.
[00:00:07] Speaker B: Oh, I'm good.
So Lawrence recently got me signed up with Burn Boot Camp. And while I love it, and apparently I really do love the abuse. Yeah, I die every time.
[00:00:21] Speaker A: Listen, it's an addicting abuse, and I love it.
[00:00:24] Speaker B: The trainers ask. They're like, well, how do you like it? I'm like, I love it.
But, like, y' all are murdering me. So, like, I. I guess I really do like abuse.
[00:00:32] Speaker A: Yep. Yeah. It's the best kind of abuse we can get. Honestly, that's how I feel about it. And your sisters also joined the cult, so we're all part of the Burn cult, and we're all loving it. And, yeah, it's a good time. I. Today we had our sack, which is, like. I don't know if anybody else knows about, like, CrossFit and how they do, like, Murph on Memorial Day. Well, my team has to do ours early, so we. We did body weight conditioning, which is all cardio. And then right after that, went into the sack, which is also all cardio. So I was like, I'm gonna die. And I woke up at, like, 5am
[00:01:12] Speaker B: so kind of like that time where we went to the gym, and then afterwards you were like, oh, I have to go run. What was it, four miles? Yeah, I walked and took videos of her.
[00:01:23] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:01:24] Speaker B: Because I was already dead.
[00:01:25] Speaker A: Yeah, that was.
Yeah, it's fine. This is what I get for being like, you know what? Why not run a half marathon? Let me train. Why? I don't know. I. Because I like to hurt myself.
[00:01:36] Speaker B: I mean, I'm envious of what you do.
Maybe one day I'll.
[00:01:39] Speaker A: Yeah, you're gonna see. Listen, I've already got you on Burn. And next is running.
[00:01:45] Speaker B: Y' all pray for me. Send out good prayers.
I ain't gonna make it.
[00:01:49] Speaker A: It's gonna be great.
So one of the things we wanted to talk about today was our rape culture reel that you made.
[00:01:56] Speaker B: Oh, yeah.
There was one guy that commented on there that rape culture doesn't exist in
[00:02:02] Speaker A: the U.S. must be nice.
[00:02:04] Speaker B: Like, women don't get raped here.
[00:02:06] Speaker A: Wild comment. Wild behavior. There were a massive amount of men on our TikTok that were like, you're making excuses. This doesn't exist. Men get raped too. And again, just completely missing the point.
Completely. Like, these are the men that. When we say, not all men, but always a man, these are the men that are the problem.
[00:02:26] Speaker B: I mean, My big deal with that is, like, it's 1 in 4 women versus 1 in 16 men. Yes, men do get raped.
[00:02:33] Speaker A: And one guy said, you know, that they're not. That men don't report it. And I was like, okay. While that's very likely true that. That there are men who don't report it, one, that's their. Like, maybe they should start. That would help. Like, you should work on that within your own culture of men to actually report things.
And two, it's still not going to be as high as women.
[00:02:57] Speaker B: But also, like, I'm battling for women. I'm not battling for men.
[00:03:01] Speaker A: Right.
[00:03:02] Speaker B: I'm not saying that men don't get raped.
[00:03:03] Speaker A: Right.
Our pages for women.
[00:03:05] Speaker B: Our pages for women. We're women who support women, so we're gonna speak out. So if one in four women get raped, then we're gonna talk about it.
[00:03:14] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:03:15] Speaker B: Because we're a women for women podcast. We're here for you guys.
[00:03:19] Speaker A: That's right. And it was disgusting because on Facebook there was actually a woman who commented and, like, got at us and was upset saying, so learning personal safety isn't a.
It's a problem.
[00:03:33] Speaker B: Yeah, that. It's a problem.
[00:03:34] Speaker A: And I'm like, no, it's not a problem. The problem is that we have to learn it because men do this. She was like. She was like, everyone has to learn that. I was like, men don't have to learn to look in their back seats.
[00:03:45] Speaker B: It's talked more about on what women need to do to protect themselves than to men on what they should not be doing.
[00:03:51] Speaker A: Correct. And that's the problem. And so. And women like that are also the problem. So I don't understand how a woman.
And she said that she had been sexually assaulted. I was like, if you've been sexually assaulted, then you should 100 be on, like, be okay with this. Real. Because we're saying it's a shame that women actually have to learn these things from a young age and men don't.
[00:04:12] Speaker B: I think there needs to be higher accountability for sexual assaults.
[00:04:17] Speaker A: Oh, for sure.
[00:04:18] Speaker B: There needs to be a higher accountability. And that's what that post was all about, is if there was higher accountability, maybe something would change.
[00:04:26] Speaker A: Right. And we do have guys that support us on. On Tick Tock. And we love those guys. Like, we stan a man who loves. Who truly do love women and not you use women love them and who want to promote women's safety, women's health, all those things. And we are fans of those men. But then it's the men that are saying stuff. So, like, if you are a good guy and you see another man say something, call them out on it.
[00:04:53] Speaker B: And then one lady did comment and she said, you act like, we don't teach our sons this.
Okay. And I'm not saying that you don't teach your son that. But there are women out there who do not teach their children this.
[00:05:05] Speaker A: Correct.
[00:05:06] Speaker B: Because if they did, then when my ex had raped me, his mother wouldn't have defended him.
[00:05:11] Speaker A: Right.
[00:05:12] Speaker B: So that's not the case for everybody.
[00:05:14] Speaker A: Correct. And I would venture to say it's not the case for most men that are raised so because it's just not something that comes to their forefront. They're not worried. You're not worried about your son going out and getting raped. You have to worry about your daughter going out and getting raped. Like, those are. That's why there's a difference.
[00:05:32] Speaker B: You're teaching your son that he can't walk down the road at night by himself.
[00:05:36] Speaker A: Right.
[00:05:36] Speaker B: But you are teaching your daughter that.
[00:05:38] Speaker A: And maybe at a young age you are. Because it's like, yeah, you don't want to get kidnapped, but like, as a teenager, they don't care. They're going to be out at night.
[00:05:44] Speaker B: As an adult.
[00:05:45] Speaker A: Yeah, as an adult.
[00:05:46] Speaker B: Going to be like, oh, yeah, no, you shouldn't walk down the road by yourself. But as a woman. How many times are we told not to still.
[00:05:53] Speaker A: Every. Every time. And, like, be in pairs and don't go anywhere alone and all these things.
It's completely. Anyone who says it's not different, they lost their mind. They've lost their mind. Like, I don't know, you can't talk to those people because you're never going to change their mind because they are so stuck in their ways and they just sit there and think that we're just male bashing. And it's like, no, no.
[00:06:14] Speaker B: Because it's not that we hate all men. I don't hate all men.
[00:06:16] Speaker A: Right.
[00:06:16] Speaker B: There's a lot of men that I respect. There's a lot of men that I think are great, but it's the ones that I don't. That I'm talking about.
[00:06:23] Speaker A: Right. And the thing is, is the same thing that we've talked about before with, like, the Poisonous Cookie. Like, you don't know which ones are the good ones. So you have to act this way towards any male that you don't know because you don't know which ones are the good ones. And even then, half the time, the ones that you do know are still the ones that do it.
So there's that.
But speaking of men today are we actually have one of those guys who supports women that support sent in a story to our email, so we're going to tell his story. So he calls this unforgivable sin. He says, I was married to Janice for 16 years.
We both knew nothing could rip us apart. I didn't know what was real love until her.
Anyway, I got a message from a woman saying my now ex wife was cheating on me.
I said, no way.
She had. She sat up hidden cameras and got a guy saying on video, and I'm guessing it was her husband, the way this is worded, saying that he had slept with this man's wife. I confronted her. She denied it. So I went through her phone and found where she had been texting him.
I confronted her and she said she would never do it again.
I. I caught her a second time. So I called her mom and told her to talk some sense into her.
The third time I caught her with the same guy. I told her if there was one more time, she wouldn't have to worry about him anymore. I'm a Desert Storm vet, and I can blame ptsd. So basically he was threatening to, like, off this dude, which, I mean.
[00:08:05] Speaker B: I mean, I get being upset, but also, like, I mean, it's both of their faults. It's not one or the other.
[00:08:10] Speaker A: Right. And in this situation was definitely both their faults because it looks like he knew that he. She was married to him. So, like, this other man knew.
So shame on him and shame on his wife for cheating on him in the first place.
[00:08:22] Speaker B: And I'm not gonna lie. Like, I mean, before, I've made threats like that too.
[00:08:25] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, when I was a teenager for sure.
Yeah. Now, though. No, no, no.
[00:08:30] Speaker B: I'm like, you can go. Yeah, if you can take him from me, you can have him.
[00:08:34] Speaker A: Exactly. So he says. So my wife decided to take $7200 out of my savings account that he had gotten from being in a car wreck and give it to this guy to. So he could move to Tennessee so that he couldn't find him. So she stole money from her husband to give it to her lover.
[00:08:51] Speaker B: That's wild behavior.
[00:08:52] Speaker A: That's awful.
[00:08:53] Speaker B: That's wild.
[00:08:54] Speaker A: So then on Black Friday, she was having a girl's day, and she forgot to tell her friends not to post on Facebook so there wouldn't be any pictures. So when I realized where she was, I called, and it took her two hours to call me back. So he left. Her like multiple voicemails, mails and stuff. And he's like, I told her I knew where she was and that she could just stay there because she was no longer wanted here. Which good on you. Like, I mean, at that point, like you gave her multiple chances and she kept doing it. So she was obviously having a full on emotional and physical affair with this other man.
[00:09:26] Speaker B: So I gave more than I would have.
[00:09:28] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah, for sure.
[00:09:30] Speaker B: Kudos to you.
I will say. That's one thing about like guys is like when it's over, like they really do try to fix it at the end.
[00:09:39] Speaker A: Yeah. If they, if they're on that end.
[00:09:41] Speaker B: Yeah. If they're on that end, like they do, they put the work in.
[00:09:44] Speaker A: Yeah. If they actually want to. To keep it going.
[00:09:48] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:09:49] Speaker A: So she stayed there another eight hours before she made the drive home. Under normal conditions, I would have given her even more chances.
But this was a guy who molested my little girl starting when she was six years old.
[00:10:05] Speaker B: No.
[00:10:06] Speaker A: My daughter didn't tell me until she was 19.
[00:10:10] Speaker B: That makes me so sad.
[00:10:11] Speaker A: So not only was she cheating on him, but she was cheating on him with his daughter's molester.
[00:10:16] Speaker B: That's heartbreaking. That's that poor little girl.
[00:10:19] Speaker A: Awful. Like, and I mean, imagine being that man. So you already have hatred for this guy, right?
[00:10:24] Speaker B: Like you already want to murder him.
[00:10:25] Speaker A: So now I don't blame you for wanting to murder him at all. Because child molesters, I would be fine with a Dexter. Oh, speaking of, there was a Dexter in Florida.
Yeah, there was a Dexter in Florida going after pedophiles. And you know what?
[00:10:38] Speaker B: Good on him. I don't think he should be prosecuted.
[00:10:40] Speaker A: Nope, I'm fine with it. I'm fine with it. You go after, you go after kids, that's on you.
You made your choice.
So by, by that time he had gotten a lawyer and he got himself taking off the sex offender registry. So by the time they were, his wife was with him and then he married her after their divorce.
So she, she married her lover.
[00:11:03] Speaker B: Her child moles her daughter's child molester. Did she not know yet?
[00:11:07] Speaker A: No, she knew.
[00:11:08] Speaker B: Gross. That's gross behavior.
[00:11:10] Speaker A: So he said that she wouldn't be allowed to see the kids anymore, that if you don't divorce him, I'll take my son away from you. Because at that point his daughter was an adult, so obviously she didn't have to go over there. But he didn't want his son going there too, because one, he was worried about what we've talked about kids do get molested, but also he's also autistic.
[00:11:32] Speaker B: Oh.
[00:11:32] Speaker A: So he would have had to deal with even more, like, stuff, too.
[00:11:36] Speaker B: But a lot of times, like, those type of men who can't control their sexual behaviors also can't control other emotions either.
So, like, anger, you know, they can't control that either.
[00:11:48] Speaker A: Yeah.
He said that his daughter still struggles to this day. And unfortunately, now she works at the same factory as her molester.
[00:11:59] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh.
[00:12:00] Speaker A: So I hope that she gets away
[00:12:01] Speaker B: from that the way I would push him into, like, a wood chipper or something.
[00:12:05] Speaker A: Well, his closing sentence is, a dad's work is never done.
So you are right.
He says, thanks for listening. So, you know, thank you for trusting us with your story and as a man, for sending us your story. Because as we've said before, we do know this happens to men. And this. We normally tell women's stories here, but every once in a while, if we have a man's story, you know, we will tell it because it is fair to tell both sides of the story. And there's bad women just like there is bad men. It's just that statistically, one is higher than the other, which is why we focus on. And we are women, so we're gonna focus on.
[00:12:41] Speaker B: I mean, we're women that support other women.
[00:12:43] Speaker A: So, yeah, 100%.
[00:12:45] Speaker B: Most of our conversations are going to be around women because that's who come and talk to us. But if you have any stories that you would like to share as well, we'd love to hear them.
[00:12:53] Speaker A: Yeah, absolutely. And we are wearing some new shirts. So if you're listening to this, surprise, we're gonna have some merch drop soon. And if you're watching this, mine says that I'm in my feminine rage era, and Amber says trauma made me funny.
And it's like a little punk rocker on it. Because if you know us at all, we like our metal music. So, yeah. So we have started making some fun shirts. So definitely look for the link and support us. And also just get some cool merch to be able to wear. And if you have any ideas or anything you want us to make, send us messages for that as well. But, yeah, short episode today. But again, thank you to him for sending that in. And we hate that that happened to him. And I hope that your daughter gets away from it. It sounds like it's a good thing you got away from your ex, but because she wasn't a very good supportive partner, and hopefully you have either found somebody or found peace with it since then, so.
All right, well, thanks, guys, and we'll see you next week. Bye, guys. This episode is proudly brought to you by the law firm Ryan and Rouse. If you or a loved one have been injured or need legal help for changing family circumstances, contact the personal injury and family law attorneys at Ryan and rouse today at 256-801-1000 or visit them online at www.alabamalaw.com. when your future is on the line, don't go at it alone.
