Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Welcome back to Spill the Tea Unfiltered.
[00:00:02] Speaker B: Well, hey guys.
[00:00:03] Speaker A: Hey.
Yeah, how was your week?
[00:00:09] Speaker B: Well, me and my sister went to Florida this week for her birthday. We went and celebrated. We had a great time, spent a lot of time on the beach, got to see my dad and my grandfather and my uncle, who's actually a year younger than me. So as a child, I refused to call him an uncle because it was weird.
[00:00:25] Speaker A: And it was weird.
[00:00:26] Speaker B: Uh, but I got to see him and that was the first time I'd seen him in probably, well, God, like 25 years.
And then for those who don't know, me and my dad had a rocky relationship growing up. But we reconnected last year after not speaking for like, probably 13, 14 years.
And we had a really good time. And that was the first time my sister had reconnected with him since the that time too.
And we all just went out, we had Mexican food, we hung out, we talked.
It wasn't weird, which is always like, I think there's a little bit anxiety for all of us on, like, you know, after so much time has passed, is it going to be weird, like, and awkward?
Is there any, like, built up resentment? And, you know, I find myself now, and I think he finds himself now, like, reassuring each other that, like, you know, like, I'm an adult now. Like, the things that have happened in the past are in the past.
You know, like, he struggled with addiction and, you know, that's just, you know, it is what it is like.
[00:01:31] Speaker A: And he's clean now, right?
[00:01:32] Speaker B: He's clean now. I'm so proud of him for that. He's been clean for a couple years now and I couldn't be more proud because it's hard. Getting off drugs is really hard.
So kudos to him because it takes strength every day to do that.
[00:01:47] Speaker A: And you're a different person when you're on drugs too. So, like, who he was on drugs is not who he is now. So.
[00:01:53] Speaker B: And when I was younger and I was last out on him for being on drugs and everything, I also didn't understand, like, the home realm of it for me as a child. It felt like he chose drugs over me. And I, like, I struggle with the why can't you love me enough to be clean? Yeah, that was like one of my biggest struggles was like, that I wasn't worthy of love.
But like, now that I'm older, like, I see it differently because, like, I know now, like, just being around addiction more like, I know that, like, I mean, if you have somebody in Your family, they're addicted to drugs or alcohol. Like, you could give them a gun and tell them that if they use again, they're going to be shot in the head. And they will literally try to do anything and everything to still be able to use and to avoid getting shot. Like, it's not. Like, it doesn't feel like an option to them.
[00:02:42] Speaker A: They have to make that choice for themselves. It can't be about anyone else but them.
[00:02:47] Speaker B: Exactly.
[00:02:48] Speaker A: So.
[00:02:49] Speaker B: But it is. It's amazing to get to see him clean now. And he's happily married and his wife is so sweet. Love her.
And, like, he's really thriving in life, and I love to see that. And it's. It's nice to, like, finally heal that part of me that was like a childhood wound.
[00:03:09] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:03:10] Speaker B: So it's really, like, it's changed a lot of myself this year, too. And I don't even think he realizes how much I have healed through us healing that relationship.
[00:03:19] Speaker A: Yeah. And that's great.
And. But you had your. You know, we've had an episode about toxic moms and. And, you know, obviously there's toxic fathers, but you had boundaries for a while. Like, you had those boundaries in place for a while until you were ready and he was ready to be able to meet where you are now. And I think that that's important. Like, it's okay to move past things and to forgive people if that's what you are ready to do.
You don't have to. And. But the fact that you were both in a position now where he's clean, you were in a healthier mental space, and we're ready to do that. Like, that's awesome that you guys can get past, you know, leave the past in the past and move forward with the future. So.
[00:03:57] Speaker B: And I do. I appreciate that. Like, he does respect my boundaries, too, because it wasn't like, okay, let's go back to normal and act like nothing ever happened. Like, it was like, okay, like, we're gonna fill this out maybe the first time we meet. Like, we don't even hug again. I mean, because it's kind of like, it's weird and it's awkward and. But, like, through out all those boundaries and throughout all my walls, because I have a lot.
I have a lot of trauma when it isn't concerning to men in general.
So, like, for him to respect, that was really nice, too.
[00:04:28] Speaker A: Yeah, that's awesome. I'm glad.
I'm glad he was able to respect all that. And while you were there, I was in Denver.
[00:04:37] Speaker B: I Believe you were in Denver.
[00:04:38] Speaker A: Yeah, for a one night.
[00:04:40] Speaker B: You're watching my cat.
[00:04:41] Speaker A: Oh yeah, no, yeah, that's right. I was doing a race.
I was doing a race. That's right. I did a race. And the next weekend I went to Denver for a wedding which was fun. It was like a celebration. Yeah. So that was fun. And of course while I'm in Denver, my first response is let me go find all the bookstores.
So like, while her and her husband were tired and taking a nap, I'm ubering around Denver looking at like bookstores and like making reels and stuff.
[00:05:04] Speaker B: But you found some really good books, didn't you? Yeah.
[00:05:06] Speaker A: And some really cute bookstores. There's one called the Spicy Librarian.
So it's like a smut store.
It was awesome and hilarious. Like a lot of their stuff.
Right. The Spicy Librarian. It cracked me up. Like it was a great one. They had a wall full of like, they had like lipstick and that, like the applicators. Yeah. And so you can, and then you could kiss the wall and like sign the wall by your kiss and stuff. And it was really funny. It was very full. So I didn't kiss the wall.
[00:05:32] Speaker B: No, I wouldn't kiss wall either. I was like, like as you're telling me, I'm like germs.
[00:05:37] Speaker A: Yeah. So I didn't do that. But I don't know, it couldn't be
[00:05:40] Speaker B: any worse than some of the men we've kissed that don't floss.
[00:05:43] Speaker A: Good point. Dick didn't floss. It was gross. Yeah, yeah, that's a good point.
But yeah. So glad you had a good trip and everything. And then do you want to fill everybody in on your, on your journey with your adhd?
[00:05:59] Speaker B: Oh my God. So, so with my adhd because Lauren gets on to me all the time. I was like, you know, maybe, like maybe I do need to go get back on medication for this because y' I am very adhd. Like not even just add. Like I am all over the place all the time.
So I made my appointment, went in for my first appointment. Well, I thought like I was going to take this assessment, like bada be badaboom, we're done, Right? Well, I like sit down and I'm talking to her. She's very kind. It's a psychiatrist, which is weird because like when I was younger it was just a primary doctor that gave it to me. But I guess now I have to see a psychiatrist for this, which is fine.
Super sweet lady. Love her. But so I sit down and she starts just Asking me questions. So she's asking me like, you know where I'm from? And I say, Florida. And then she's asking me, like,
[00:06:50] Speaker A: you
[00:06:50] Speaker B: know where I was born?
And I was like, pensacola. And she was like, okay. She was like, was dad there when you were born? And I was like, no. Like, he came after, but, like, he wasn't there for my birthday. But I was like, that's a weird question. And she was like.
She was like, well, was he ever there? And I was like, yeah. I mean, like, my dad was around. Like, my mom and dad were together till I think I was, like, three and they split up. And then, like, I mean, I went to my dad's on the weekends. Like, no biggie, right? And then she was like, like, we're starting, like, digging deep into, like, my life, right?
[00:07:25] Speaker A: Like, she's like, you're having actual therapy.
[00:07:27] Speaker B: Probing me. Like, she's asking me the questions, and she's like, do you have trauma? And I'm like, also, by the way. So, like, I'm really bad about taking my antidepressants sometimes. And sometimes, like, I just. I don't know, I like to, like, go off them for a couple days and then, like, all my emotions and have to go back on them because
[00:07:42] Speaker A: I'm like, oh, not do that.
[00:07:44] Speaker B: If you're listening, have emotions, Lex approaches, hides them from me.
[00:07:48] Speaker A: Do not do that.
[00:07:48] Speaker B: Yeah, like, it's not intentional. I just, like, I'm ADD and I forget to take them or, like, I get busy. Like, I haven't took my blood pressure medication in two days. I'm probably gonna croak. It's fine.
[00:07:58] Speaker A: Please don't die on my couch.
[00:07:59] Speaker B: I'll be fine.
But so, like, I've also been off my blood pressure medication or my depression medication for a couple days, right? So I'm already, like, on the day where I was like, yeah, I probably need to take it a day because I'm starting to feel my emotions. Like, you know, like, when you're, like, edging and you feel like anything they say can make you cry kind of day. Like, this is a weird day.
But so I. She's like, well, do you have any trauma? And I'm like, yes. And she was like, okay, what kind?
And I'm like, how far do you want me to go?
Like, how deep do we need to go into this? Like, do you want me to trauma dump? You want me to, like, skim the edge for you? Like, baby, what do you want from me?
[00:08:43] Speaker A: Because what are we doing?
[00:08:44] Speaker B: We could spend all Day. Like, do most uncles show you a dead baby in a mason jar when you're eight years old?
[00:08:51] Speaker A: No.
[00:08:53] Speaker B: Like, is that something most people see on the Internet when they're eight? No. No. Oh, okay. No. Yeah. I mean, can we.
[00:09:01] Speaker A: What? We need to talk about this.
So where did he get a dead baby?
[00:09:05] Speaker B: It was on the Internet. He. Okay, so, like, let's. Let's rewind this back. Okay. So Internet dating was a thing back then too, right? My aunt met this guy, he was in the Navy, and she moved him in soon after.
I think he probably was like gaslighting her and stuff back then. This is. Obviously, we talked about all this. Well, this guy was a little low key crazy, right?
So, yeah, he literally. He was so crazy, he. Some of the things he would do would be like, he would make us eat these extremely hot peppers if we got in trouble. We would have to kneel in a corner on rice.
He would hog tie us. He built this, like, this, like, platform thing and made my cousins carry me around like I was a princess.
He would make us pick up all his cigarette beds in his yard.
[00:09:58] Speaker A: Oh, yeah.
[00:10:00] Speaker B: Like, he would do all kinds of crazy stuff he made. I mean, like, it was. It was abuse, honestly.
[00:10:05] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:10:07] Speaker B: Oh, he would burn us with his lighter. What, the smileys? Yeah.
And then he would. He would get on the Internet and he'd pull up this site and I had to be like, the black, black web. I don't know where he found this at, but it was like this website and it was like dead babies in jars. And they were like mutated and they were missing, like, arms or legs or like just like really deranged bodies, like in a jar of water, like, or something. Like, it was super cringe.
[00:10:39] Speaker A: Were they full grown babies or were they smaller? Like it was an abortion that somebody put in a jar.
[00:10:44] Speaker B: You could tell it was a baby.
[00:10:45] Speaker A: Okay. I mean, he was looking at serial killer's website.
[00:10:49] Speaker B: Yeah. Like, I was only eight years old.
[00:10:50] Speaker A: He was looking at a serial killer's website. Yeah, is what that was among, like,
[00:10:54] Speaker B: plenty of other trauma. He also threatened to kill me and hide me in the woods where my family would never find me. So what happened to this guy?
[00:11:01] Speaker A: Where is he now?
[00:11:02] Speaker B: Somewhere in Ohio. My. When he did that, when he did that whole realm of, like, the trauma that came with that, like, because I did, like, I was bawling my eyeballs out. I told my mom terrified. I slept with a butcher knife under my bed until I graduated high school.
[00:11:17] Speaker A: Which is crazy because you could have
[00:11:18] Speaker B: cut yourself I had a thick mattress. Like, it just slid right in.
[00:11:22] Speaker A: Oh, my God. But I just. But that's terrible.
[00:11:25] Speaker B: I was terrified. I thought. I mean, God, I was probably. I was probably 16 or 17 years old before I realized that he wasn't coming back for me. I was terrified everywhere I went that he was gonna come back and kill me.
[00:11:35] Speaker A: Dude, that needs to be on, like, some kind of list.
[00:11:39] Speaker B: And then he also.
I was told later that he had gotten remarried after my aunt and that he had choked his stepson. Like, he had, like, strangled a stepson, and she left him. So he was fucking nuts.
[00:11:51] Speaker A: Yeah, he was.
[00:11:52] Speaker B: That's just a little. Like, we're just touching a little bit
[00:11:54] Speaker A: of my trauma of life. God. Like, I mean, I'm fine. Every normal shit, right? Everything's. No, that's not.
No, not normal at all.
Terrifying. Also, I, like, we're going to end up seeing him on a Netflix special.
[00:12:10] Speaker B: 100%. That's probably. Like, I thought about this morning. I was like, I should do a Netflix. Like, the. The trend of, like, we sit down in the chair for Netflix. And so, like, he. I mean, when he left my aunt, my aunt was pregnant. He has a child with my aunt.
[00:12:23] Speaker A: Does the child ever see him?
[00:12:24] Speaker B: She does now, but, like, she doesn't really have a relationship with us now.
[00:12:27] Speaker A: Like, I don't think I'd want to see him knowing that he.
[00:12:30] Speaker B: Like, she's very.
She always wanted a dad, I guess, and I don't know.
[00:12:39] Speaker A: I just.
[00:12:39] Speaker B: I hope the best for her. She knows what all he's done, and she looks past that. I don't at that point, like, I can do not. Like, it is what it. Like, I told her, I was like, you have a relationship with your dad, that's on you, but don't ever bring that around me, because I will kill him.
[00:12:54] Speaker A: Yeah. But also, like, he's probably going to hurt her at some point physically. Because, yeah, abusive men like that are never gonna stop being abusive.
[00:13:05] Speaker B: No. I'm just waiting.
[00:13:07] Speaker A: And I feel like some kind of way about people who were, like, really want a relationship with their father when their father is a literal piece of shit. Because I'm like, go find a different father figure. Find a healthy one. Find a friend who has a good father. Find a mentor. I don't know.
[00:13:24] Speaker B: Like, it's so crazy to me because for the longest time she, like, idolized me and acted like. Like, I was like, this awesome person, which. Thanks. You know, I don't want you to idolize me. I don't want Anybody to. Because like, I obviously have not always made the best decisions for myself, but I also was like for you to know all that he did to me and like for you to still want a relationship with him. Like, I don't wanna, I don't want to be mad at you for wanting a relationship with your dad because obviously like we talked about it, like I, you know, reconnect with my dad and it has healed me in a lot of ways, but at the same time, like he did some bad things to me.
[00:13:58] Speaker A: So like your dad also never tried to kill you?
[00:14:01] Speaker B: Yeah.
How do you look at an 8 year old and tell them that?
Honestly, like, it's, it's why I could never look at an 8 year old child and be like, I will kill you and hide you in the woods and I promise you that your family will never find you.
[00:14:16] Speaker A: Yeah, he's probably killed before or he's going to like, that's psychotic behavior.
[00:14:21] Speaker B: Like 8 year old.
[00:14:22] Speaker A: I mean, my uncle was gross and really creepy and I don't talk to him at all anymore either. But he like, he would hit all my friends all the time, which was super gross. And he made, he had me and two of my girlfriends dress up as Playboy bunnies and be waitresses. For his 40 40th birthday, he had a Playboy mansion party.
[00:14:39] Speaker B: That's fucking cringe.
[00:14:41] Speaker A: Yeah, I didn't realize how cringe it was. I was a freshman in college. I didn't realize how cringe it was until years later. And I was like, ew, that's gross.
And the friend that I just went on my cruise with, she, she was one of the ones he would hit on all the time. Yeah. So we like talked about it, how creepy he was and stuff. And like we had a falling out, we don't talk anymore. But I look at that and I'm like, he should probably be on, be on like a sex offender list of some kind. Like it would, it would not surprise me if he was down the road. Like he was arrested for like sex crimes and stuff.
Because he's gross. I don't think he would do little. Little thing like thanks to littles, but I think it'd be more like a teenager and like him doing inappropriate stuff with like a teenage girl and stuff. I think my cat's scared of the thunder.
[00:15:27] Speaker B: Good news is I got my ADHD medication from all of that.
Did we touch on that trauma and did I have a bad day after that? Yes.
But did I also tell her that I was healed from my trauma? I also Did. Yes, I did. No, you're not.
[00:15:42] Speaker A: You're not. You're not healed from the trauma.
[00:15:44] Speaker B: How do you heal from that?
[00:15:44] Speaker A: You don't. You just, you know, you learn how
[00:15:48] Speaker B: to process and move on.
[00:15:49] Speaker A: Yeah, there's no healing. No.
It made me funny, but I am. It did. Trauma made you funny. I'm glad that you are getting your meds so you don't go squirrel.
Speaking of, I just squirreled because I
[00:16:02] Speaker B: think I haven't started it yet, though. So stay tuned.
[00:16:05] Speaker A: Come here, bubba.
Yeah, so I'll be interested to see how that goes. So you. So you'll be like, lauren, what's on my calendar? You might actually know.
[00:16:14] Speaker B: I might actually have my own calendar.
[00:16:15] Speaker A: What?
That'd be wild.
[00:16:17] Speaker B: Let's not hold her breath.
But my car might be cleaned.
[00:16:22] Speaker A: It is funny. Once you. You'll send me stuff on, like, social media, they'll be like type B people versus type A, because you're definitely type B and I'm type A. So it's so funny to watch, like, the differences between the two.
[00:16:34] Speaker B: Right? Like your spotless car, and then you go into mine. There's like 10 water bottles in the seat.
[00:16:38] Speaker A: Part of that's because I grew up with a. Some. A little bit of a hoarding situation in my family, and I can't see stand. I have a ton of books, but other than that, I don't keep. Everything else is very clean and has.
[00:16:51] Speaker B: Well, I don't keep stuff except for my water bottles that I just forget to take out of the car.
[00:16:56] Speaker A: What is this water bottle? Water bottle speak. Yeah, yeah, you. I mean, you left one at our friend's house, and so now she had to bring it over here.
[00:17:02] Speaker B: My Stanley.
[00:17:03] Speaker A: Yeah. So now you have your Stanley back, which will probably go in your car and stay there for a bit. It's fine. No big deal.
[00:17:08] Speaker B: Till I need it again.
[00:17:11] Speaker A: Yeah, no big deal.
[00:17:12] Speaker B: She even asked me if I made my bed, and I was like, no.
[00:17:16] Speaker A: It is funny.
So I have a friend who sent in a story, and this girl, let me tell you, she's been through some shit, okay? She's a badass. I love her. She does some of the modeling stuff with me.
She's gorgeous.
She's very body positive. She's very, like, woman positive. She's. She's. She's a girl's girl, like, through and through. Like, I love her to death, but she's been through some.
So she sent us a story, and then we actually had a photo shoot, like, a couple days later. So then I was like, let me ask some more questions so that I could get some more depth.
[00:17:53] Speaker B: Yeah, for.
[00:17:54] Speaker A: For the story. So she says, welcome to my TED Talk.
My toxic baby Daddy, I was 16 and he was 23.
Starting off strong. Yeah, like, right there, starting off.
[00:18:11] Speaker B: It's like, illegal almost.
[00:18:13] Speaker A: It is illegal. I mean, I don't know what Alabama is. It might not be illegal here, but it should be the.
[00:18:18] Speaker B: I think they cannot be any older than 23, but I don't know.
[00:18:23] Speaker A: I just have issues with anyone who says, like, 16 is a legal age for anything because you are not.
You are not an adult by the law.
[00:18:33] Speaker B: You.
[00:18:34] Speaker A: Our brains aren't fully developed till 27.
So at 16, that's how I got
[00:18:38] Speaker B: brass knuckle tattoo, right?
[00:18:40] Speaker A: Like, that's like the decisions we're making. At 16, I was riding in trunks with people who were drunk to get to the next party. I should have died.
[00:18:49] Speaker B: I rode in a car with somebody who inhaled air duster while we were riding.
[00:18:52] Speaker A: Air duster. Dear God. Yeah. See, people are huffing and doing stupid shit and, like, we were making horrible decisions because our brains were not fully developed. Do you think I would never. Well, I say that I would never climb in the back of a trunk of a car now with someone who is drunk. I did ride in the back of an SUV because we had to go like five miles down the road and there weren't enough seats. So I, like, laid in the back of the. But she was not drunk. We were just dropping her boyfriend off and then I got to get in a regular seat.
So.
But she says I wanted to, quote, unquote, save him so badly. I was trying to save him from himself.
So we always try to save men. Why let them. Let them burn. Like, let them. Let them figure it the hell out. So she says, from abuse and cheating to full blown using code words for doing drugs with people behind my back, I fully felt broken.
I used to swear he was the one for me and that our toxic relationship was just quote, unquote, rough because no one understood our love. But in reality, he was destroying me.
He used to hold nyse up to his throat and wrists anytime we got in an argument because obviously me being mad at him meant he needed to off himself in front of me. And we've seen this time and time again.
You've dealt with it in a past relationship with people threatening, I'm gonna kill myself and all this shit. We've had plenty of stories where people have said that they were going to kill themselves just to get somebody to come back. It's a form of manipulation. That's not to say there aren't people out there who you know actually are going to harm themselves, but you need to be able to to tell the difference, you know, and at the same time, if they say things like that. Most people who are going to harm themselves don't tell anybody, right? I didn't tell anybody until I was like, I. I never have had these thoughts before. Something is fucked up.
Let me talk to my therapist and get on some medication like you. People who are truly in that dark spot. Don't brag about it and try to use it as a manipulation. That's not a thing.
So don't let people manipulate you that way.
She said he used to threaten to cut my animals heads off and leave them for me.
[00:21:05] Speaker B: You know, that was something I forgot to mention about my uncle too. He poisoned our dogs.
[00:21:09] Speaker A: What the.
Why?
[00:21:11] Speaker B: Two chow dogs. He poisoned them and killed them.
[00:21:13] Speaker A: Why?
[00:21:14] Speaker B: Because he didn't like them.
[00:21:16] Speaker A: That man is a serial killer deep down. Like something's gonna happen with that man.
[00:21:20] Speaker B: Like the hell blamed on the neighbors.
[00:21:22] Speaker A: But we.
[00:21:22] Speaker B: We know better. And he made us bury him. We had to dig the holes.
[00:21:26] Speaker A: Oh, my God. What kind of traumatic.
[00:21:29] Speaker B: Well, they just laid.
[00:21:30] Speaker A: How long was your aunt with him?
[00:21:32] Speaker B: Too long, I think it was. It was less than a year. He jaywalked from the Navy to be with her and went to jail for
[00:21:37] Speaker A: a couple of days. He should have stayed there. Yeah, they should have kept him in jail because that man's crazy. I bet. I would be interested to see if he got like a dishonorable discharge. I don't know what he got because he sounds crazy.
[00:21:51] Speaker B: Rest in peace, Rolly.
[00:21:52] Speaker A: No, Rolly.
But. So she. He was threatening to cut the heads off and leave them, which is insane.
He used to cheap her, chase her around the property like a literal horror movie.
I remember hiding under trucks and praying he wouldn't find me.
I would be out in the middle of the night in the rain, the snow, trying to get away. I wouldn't wish any of this on my worst enemy. She goes on to talk about how young she was and how blinded she was. So that's one of the things I talked to her about is I was like, you know, now she's. She got away.
She's with a fantastic man now. So that's one thing we talked about was. I was like, where are you now? She was like, I have a fantastic man who treats my kid as his own. I'm in a healthy Loving relationship. He supports me, you know, and everything that I want to do. Like any career changes she's had or anything else that she's want to do, she has a good man by her. So she, she's on the other side of it now.
But she was so young at the time and dealt with this four years and then he got her pregnant.
And so then she has a kid and she's still dealing with all this and she's trying to protect her child from this insane person. He, I believe she said he went to jail for a while for drugs. And I can't remember if that's when she said she was able to get away from him or not. But she eventually did like cut it off and get like hella far away from, from this man. And he was still doing all the drugs.
I mean, he has no desire to help himself. Right? So he's still doing a lot of the drugs. And she's supposed to be co parenting with this person. And I think that's something that we don't talk about enough is the co parenting, especially with somebody who is a toxic human being, I feel like. And it goes either way. Mothers or fathers, whichever one, whichever partner is the toxic one.
[00:23:41] Speaker B: Right.
[00:23:42] Speaker A: We're not parents, so like, we don't really know what it's like. I was a step parent, so I, like, I saw some of it, but I hate it for the parent who's normal and then trying to instill stuff in their child and then they have to go to another parent and it gets ripped away because the other parent is just an awful human and super toxic. I just, I can't imagine having a co parent like that.
She says, she said she was so blinded at the time and she did her fair share of like reactive toxicity. Well, yeah, because you were 16. Yeah, we all did. I did stupid shit too, 100%.
But she said we live, we learn, and we grow, which is 100% true. So, you know, through this, like, she's on the other side. She's done a lot of mental work for herself and for her kids and to be in a healthy relationship. So like I said, she's, she's a great human. I'm. I hate that she went through that, but I think a lot of people like us and her that have been through trauma, the reason we come out on the other side and come out better for it is because we put in the work. You go to therapy, you want to do better. You know, she, her. One of her things is, you know, body positivity. And trying to help women love the skin that they're in.
[00:25:03] Speaker B: I love her videos.
[00:25:04] Speaker A: Yeah, she has great videos. Like she wants people to love the skin that they're in and everything. So, you know, I think that that's a very important message and one that we agree with and definitely want. You know, as a woman, we are constantly told like, oh, you're fat. Or you know, that's the insult men always give us. You're fat, Nobody's gonna love you.
[00:25:25] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:25:25] Speaker A: And we're like, they cheated.
[00:25:27] Speaker B: You're fat.
[00:25:27] Speaker A: Yeah. And I'm like, okay, cool.
That's not a thing. And I think once you go to therapy and you realize that, you're like, I'm fine. These men are trash. And I'm gonna call them out on their toxic behavior. And that's why we've started doing reels with men's responses to our stuff. And I'm going to continue to do that. If you are a man and you're going to post shit on our wall and think that I'm not going to post your face and your comment, you got nothing then coming. And women, I'll do the same thing to you. If you aren't a girl's girl and you come on there and you're all nasty and like spouting some bullshit at us saying that being a feminist is toxic. I'm sorry, Silence protects abusers.
Like, I'm so tired of this bullshit. Like, it doesn't, it doesn't make us insanely liberal. It's. As a woman, you should be a feminist. If you're not, then there's a problem. That means you don't truly understand what feminism is. It's not just male bashing, it's, hey, women want equal rights. Hey, women want to be treated with respect.
Hey, stop looking at us and catcalling us. Stop like just acting like a misogynistic asshole. Sorry.
So, yeah, that's a lot of what our my friend does and, and stuff. And you know her too. So she, she's a good, she's a good egg. So I hate that she went through that. But he was super abusive towards her. Like, yeah, chasing with knives, running around, threatening himself, threatening the kids, threatening the animals, threatening everything.
I'm really glad you got away from it. But that's also like, if you're younger and you listen to this, like your brain is not fully developed and I know that that's a hard thing to hear, but if you're 16, please do not be with a 23 year old that person is taking advantage of you.
[00:27:14] Speaker B: I couldn't imagine, like I look back at when I was 23, I could not imagine me with a 16 year old.
[00:27:19] Speaker A: Absolutely not.
You could go drink and do stuff that they can't do.
[00:27:24] Speaker B: Right. Like we don't, we can't even go the same places.
[00:27:26] Speaker A: Right.
[00:27:27] Speaker B: I could not have been at 23 years old with a 16 year old. I couldn't have 21 years old be with a 16 year old.
[00:27:34] Speaker A: No, no. And I think that that's like 23, you're out of college. 16 year in high school, you're a sophomore.
[00:27:40] Speaker B: I think about like the guys that used to hang out the skater rink that were like 23 years old and I'm like, what are you, what were they doing there?
[00:27:46] Speaker A: Being creeps and probably being pedophiles.
[00:27:48] Speaker B: And some of them were dating like 14 year old girls. And I'm like, gross. Yeah, you're a pedophile.
[00:27:53] Speaker A: Yeah, it's a lot and it's gross and I hate it. So everything that he did was manipulation though. So if you've been with somebody who, threatening, threatens to kill themselves just because you get in an argument, someone who threatens to kill your animals, someone who threatens to kill you, someone who chases you around, like that is manipulation. You need to get away from that situation because that's not okay. Like, that's 100. That's abuse. It's manipulation.
It's not a good situation. She got away. She's in a much better place. Like, there is something better on the other side for you.
[00:28:27] Speaker B: Right.
[00:28:28] Speaker A: So definitely do that.
But, yeah, so that was our story for the week.
Amber's gonna remember to take all our medication.
[00:28:39] Speaker B: I'm not gonna make promises.
We're gonna, we're gonna, we're gonna try.
[00:28:42] Speaker A: We're gonna work on it.
But we will see you guys next week. Bye, guys. Bye. This episode is proudly brought to you by the law firm Ryan and Rouse. If you or a loved one have been injured or need legal help for changing family circumstances, contact the personal injury and family law attorneys at Ryan and rouse today at 2568011000 or visit them online at www.alabamalaw. com. When your future is on the line, don't go at it alone.
