Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Welcome back to Spill the Tea Unfiltered. Hey, guys.
Yeah. So this Lindsay Clancy case.
[00:00:07] Speaker B: Wild.
[00:00:08] Speaker A: Yeah, I. So we will be doing an episode with Suzanne at some point about postpartum psychosis and the difference between all the different kinds of postpartums and everything that's going on with it. But I don't know. There's some fishy stuff going on. Like, I'm not saying that he did it, but I feel like something was involved. I don't know.
[00:00:30] Speaker B: I'm saying he did it. He a hundred percent did it. Because, for one, why would a nurse need to Google where the clotted artery is? However you pronounce that.
Yes, she does not need to look that up. Okay.
Also, if she couldn't speak when they got there, then how did she tell him that the kids were in the basement?
[00:00:56] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah.
[00:00:58] Speaker B: I got questions. And her body temperature was at 82 degrees.
[00:01:00] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:01:01] Speaker B: But she was coherent.
[00:01:03] Speaker A: Yeah, I don't know. There was a lot going on and all that. Also, my main. My main issue is, like, he was having an affair, obviously, because he got married that quickly after.
[00:01:14] Speaker B: I think he wanted a whole new family.
[00:01:15] Speaker A: I do, too. And I'm like.
I'm like. Either way, like, I'm like, is that. What if she did do it? Is that what pushed her over the edge is that she found out, like, she was on all these different medications, and I definitely think the system failed her because she was asking for help and everything. And there's.
I was actually talking to somebody at the nail salon about it today, and the medicine that starts with an S that she's on, she said that she was on, like, 200 grams of it or something. 250 grams. And her husband's on it to sleep, and he's on 50 grams. And she said that he literally cannot function. So how was she strong enough to not only kill three children and strangle them to death, which takes a lot of effort, but then to also move a bed out, like the way she moved the bed and everything, and the plugging up the.
The watch is weird. Like the Apple watch and stuff.
I mean, it's not to say people can't snap. People snap every day.
But there's some weird. Some weird going on there.
[00:02:13] Speaker B: Yeah. I mean, I absolutely believe in postpartum. I believe that that kind of situation, like, those things can happen, but there's too many things in this case that just aren't adding up.
[00:02:22] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. There's definitely. Definitely a lot going on there. So that's. I know everybody's like obsession, the Tick Tock.
[00:02:31] Speaker B: And like, we're all on it and everybody on there is like, no, she didn't do it.
Some people are like, you know, I refuse to live in a world where Casey Anthony's free and she's now locked up.
[00:02:41] Speaker A: Well, yeah, yeah. And I guess I was also told by somebody at the nail salons to take this for what it is because obviously I have not checked yet.
But Nelson, gossip says that I guess in Massachusetts there's a rule where if you get the insanity plea and you go to the, like, institution, you're like, checked out every six months. And if, if like, at some point she's deemed no longer, she'll be released. So that I found that interesting because I was like, wait a minute. So then like, can anybody just say that they're crazy? And if they prove it then, or they prove it, then, you know, I have feelings about that too, because I'm like, I don't know.
[00:03:25] Speaker B: That's why a lot of people, when they do get charged with murder, they tried to put for that in San Diego.
[00:03:29] Speaker A: Well, and I mean, it's only places like that that you can get out, I don't think in a lot of. At least not in the South. I'm pretty sure you can't get out.
[00:03:36] Speaker B: But I don't know. They'd be really some people all the time.
[00:03:39] Speaker A: That's true.
[00:03:40] Speaker B: And a lot of times they just end up homeless.
[00:03:42] Speaker A: Speaking of releasing people all the time freaking there, you know, I was in Montana in the wilderness. So off grid for a while, and there was a lot of smoke and I was like, pissed off and I was like, why is there so much smoke? And some asshole that killed his father, he was in prison in Arizona, killed his father, got out and then started a wildfire in Spokane, Washington. And so that's why Glacier, while I was there, was like, like really hazy and stuff. And so I was like, thanks for making it to where I can't see the beautiful mountains.
[00:04:15] Speaker B: You know, when I first moved to Huntsville, there was this guy, he had.
He had hit up a few stores and he was just randomly catching them on fire.
[00:04:23] Speaker A: Why?
[00:04:24] Speaker B: He caught the Sparkman Walmart on fire. Yeah.
[00:04:26] Speaker A: Why? People are so weird, man. Arson's a weird choice.
[00:04:30] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:04:31] Speaker A: So, yeah, I don't know. Arson's a weird. A weird choice for me. Hey, Addie.
She's joining us today. My little black ball of fluff.
But yeah, so we got a listener that sent in a pretty interesting story, huh?
[00:04:49] Speaker B: Yeah, I actually, I was following her on tick tock. And I ended up reaching out to her after hearing her tragic story, and I wanted to share it with all of you guys. And she felt like it was really important to share as well. So she started off with saying, these are some of the things I put in my impact statement for the judge to talk about how losing my mom has been. I saw on a Tick Tock of a public speaker talking about domestic violence, and it really has stuck with me.
She said it takes an average of seven times for an abused person in a domestic violence relationship to leave the relationship. It's very dangerous for a person in a domestics violence relationship to leave because the final step for the abuser is to kill her.
[00:05:32] Speaker A: Yes. Which we've talked about with multiple domestic violence shelters on the podcast.
[00:05:36] Speaker B: Yeah. So over 70% of domestic violence murders happen after the victor has victim has ended the relationship.
[00:05:45] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:05:45] Speaker B: That's exactly what happened. She finally got the divorce she had been waiting, wanting. And when my dad signed the paper, she was free.
She was so happy and living her best life. And it killed him. So he had nothing left to lose and said, I'm going to ruin everyone's lives today.
[00:06:04] Speaker A: Oh, good God.
[00:06:06] Speaker B: Yeah.
Your honor, I would like to share with you the seven times that he. He that had the biggest impact on me. The first memory I have was being 7 years old. My sister and I were downstairs in our room because it was bedtime. Our blinds and curtains were wide open. We could hear the fighting, my parents arguing. We looked out our window and our dad had a big, thick chain in his hand that he threw at our window. I remember there being other adults at the house. I remember mom getting on the van.
Van trying to just leave and get away. But my dad just jumped on the front of the van and tried to keep her from leaving.
She crashed the van into the neighbor's fence.
[00:06:50] Speaker A: Good God. So. And there's seven years old. That was the first one. When you remember that that was her first time.
[00:06:56] Speaker B: She remembers.
So number two, I remember being at a lake house and I don't know how old I was, but. But I remember my mom and dad arguing and fighting. I was in the closet hiding. I don't remember who broke up the fight or what stopped it. I just remember there being a lot of yelling and my mom wanting to get away.
[00:07:16] Speaker A: So this poor, like, as a child, she. She and her sister are witnessing the domestic violence and probably at the time don't even realize that it's not normal and that it's domestic violence because a Lot of kids that are deal with it, they don't. They think that's what every family's like. They don't realize it.
[00:07:33] Speaker B: So number three, there were so many times my mom would say she was done and we even moved out of the house to our nana's house, but she would get suckered into going back to our dad. So number three is every time she moved to my nana's and back to my Dad's.
So number four, in 2011, I thought, this is it. She's gonna stick to it and be done.
This is the year my dad tried to kill her by shooting a gun over her head two times, then hid under the house and got drug out by police dogs. She got a no contact protection order. She was really trying to clean up the house and do things on her own and wanted to be free. When he got out of jail, he did what he always does and manipulated her back. I'm mad that I let him walk me down the aisle in 2012. I wish instead of saying, if my mom can forgive him, take him back, I can forgive him and let him be my dad.
[00:08:31] Speaker A: Yeah. See, and that's the thing, is a lot of people think like, oh, but it's your parents, and you have to. And, like, no, you don't. Like, we've talked about that before. You are allowed to kick your family members out of your life. You're allowed to set up those boundaries if they are toxic and awful human beings, which, obviously shooting a gun at your mother makes you an awful human being.
[00:08:49] Speaker B: But it is really hard. Like, I mean, I know that, you know, for a long time, I didn't speak to my dad for family. 15 years. I know how hard it is to, like, have to face the fact that, like, your dad's never going to be the person you want him to be.
[00:09:01] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:09:02] Speaker B: Or they're like, there's that potential for that.
So I, like, I get where you're coming from. Because, like, you.
When my dad was in his active addiction, I forgave him I don't know how many times.
And always, because I'm an empath, I always wanted to make, like, excuses for his actions and excuses for my stepmom's actions. Like, so. So I get. But, you know, like, what you didn't know is what you didn't know. So give yourself grace on that. We always talk about giving yourself grace.
[00:09:31] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:09:33] Speaker B: But, yeah. So number five, 20, 22, when he left for Florida and he left my mom on the side of the road in Idaho, I think it Was. I definitely thought this was the time in another state, like garbage on the side of the road. I thought for sure gonna come home and let him go to Florida, and they're gonna start a new separate life. But then a few weeks later or months later, I don't remember the timeline. It's blurry for me. I just remember he called her, begging her to go to Florida so he wasn't alone, and she decided to get on a plane and go to Florida and give it another shot.
[00:10:12] Speaker A: Oh, God. So a lot of this stems down to men can't stand to be alone. And we've talked about that, too. Like, that's the thing, the male loneliness epidemic or whatever the hell. It's because men want a woman to take care of them because they don't want to be alone.
[00:10:25] Speaker B: But I don't even think that was the case on this situation. It's the control he.
[00:10:28] Speaker A: Oh, it's control for sure.
[00:10:29] Speaker B: All of her. And he had to manipulate his way back into that, because once he had that control over he. Over her, he wasn't willing to let that go.
[00:10:37] Speaker A: Oh, for sure, it's definitely control. But I think it's also like, again, he probably was like, I'm gonna start over her. And then he's like, oh, I'm alone, so let me manipulate her into coming back because I know I can control her. So he probably was trying to get with somebody else. He couldn't control that person.
So then he brought her mom back because he was like, I know how to control her.
[00:10:58] Speaker B: So number six. Again, I don't remember exactly how long she was in Florida with him when this happened. I just remember her calling me from a neighbor's phone. I normally don't answer random phone numbers, but I saw Florida on the caller ID and I answered. Mom was so scared. She said, your dad tried. Tried to kill me, and he had me on the ground choking me. I don't remember what she said she did to get away or if she just got off her, but somehow she got out of it. And then she told me that he poured gasoline all over the trailer and he was going to burn her alive in the trailer. She somehow got out, got away, and ran to the neighbor's house. I told her she needed to call the cops and tell the cops what she was going. What was going on? She was afraid, too, but I was like, I'm in Washington, Mom. I can't. I can't do a lot to help you here. You need to get the cops to help you. She called and he attempted.
He went to jail for attempted arson and attempted murder, I believe was the charge.
I was against someone bailing him out and wished he would have got left in Florida to let the justice system handle him. My mom went to a friend in Arizona's, I think, and I for sure thought she was gonna leave for sure this time. So number seven, it wasn't.
He called her after he got out of Florida and told her sad story that his colitis was acting up and he was afraid to die alone. So he needed her to come get him and drive his truck back to Washington. She. She went back for him, helped him get back to Washington and let. Let him live in the house.
[00:12:44] Speaker A: 8.
[00:12:44] Speaker B: Finally, July of 2023, the day came that she was finally done. Like, done done. Mom told me, your dad has done a lot of things to me. But he came in my room when I was sleeping and started spinning his chewing tobacco at me. That is the most dehumanizing, nasty, disrespectful thing you could possibly do. And that was her final straw. Mom finally kicked him out of the house. Went through all legal things to get no contact orders, stuck to it. She got divorce papers. Stuck to it. She went through the divorce and she really stuck to not letting him back this time. I was so proud of her for finally saying, I'm ready to live my best life. It's a hard feeling to feel. I wish my dad would just kill himself instead. Dead. At least then we would have only lost one parent. We would have been sad he was gone and missed him instead of hating him and hoping that we never have to see him again. But now I have to feel guilty that I didn't go to the house and make sure my mom wasn't alone. Do you know how hard it is to grieve the loss of a parent that's still alive? Like knowing that I feel like I've already lost a dad, but knowing when he does die, we have to do this all over again.
It's not fair that my mom only gets to die once for us, but my dad gets to die twice. It's hard to because you tell people my dad and my mom, Mom's ex husband were two different people.
My dad took us to father's dances. Growing up, my friends all thought my dad was the cool dad, the fun dad. Growing up, we had different cousins live with us temporarily because they felt safer at our house than they did with their own parents.
So to get the text that my dad killed my mom was just like a punt. A Punch to the stomach. And I felt so dumb for not seeing all the signs. My mom had five different harassment charges and no contact orders pressed on my dad that the police didn't do anything about. In June 2023, my dad went to my mom's work, a bakery, and he yelled at her, I'm going to kill you. He walked out of the store and down the aisle, doing a throat slashing symbol at her. She called the police to files charges. The store pulled up video footage of it happening for the police. They took notes and filed the paperwork. But the paperwork didn't get processed through the system.
However, works to actually press charges against him and be able to put a warrant, my dad's arrest for it to only show up three days after my mom was murdered. Parts of me feel like it was only tended to because they were already looking at past incidents that came across the paperwork. If she didn't die and they weren't looking for it, it would have never been seen. I feel like that's the story of a lot of women. They press charges, call the cops, ask for help, try to escape and do everything right. And the system fails them when they're leaving. So some of them feel like, why do I even try?
So, like, her dad killed her mom.
Her mom had been in this relationship with him for a really long time, and her dad actually killed her mom.
And it was on a day where she was supposed to be bringing her children over there to, like, spend the day with their grandma because one of her kids had said that she missed her grandma.
And her mom had mentioned that he was coming over to pick up a few things. And she really didn't want her mom to even do that.
[00:16:14] Speaker A: Right.
[00:16:15] Speaker B: She tried to discourage her mom. Her mom said it was going to be fine. Her. During that time, her mom had been like, receiving threats from him. He had been telling everybody that he was going to kill her.
And it had been ongoing for a while.
Well, he came over to the house, he ended up killing her. And he then, after he sent a text message to her telling her simply that, your mom's dead.
It said literally something along the lines of, like, your mom's dead. Tell your brother not to come over.
I left the door unlocked for the medics. Yes, I did it. And that was it.
[00:16:53] Speaker A: That's insane.
This is the story for so many people. And it just goes to show that, like, you know, women aren't taken seriously a lot of times when it comes to domestic violence. And even when they are like the system, you have to Die before the system will do something. Like, because you can't do anything or you'll get arrested. So then it's like, okay, so I just have to wait for them to essentially try to actually kill me before something will. Will occur. And at this point, if he had that many harassment charges and, like, everything. Like, I don't. At that point, you should just already be in jail. Like, why are you even out of jail at that point? Like, back in Florida, Why did you even get out of jail?
They should have, like, you attempted arson, attempted murder. Jill. And the fact that you've threatened your wife before and she had restraining orders on you.
He shouldn't have ever been out.
[00:17:46] Speaker B: No.
[00:17:46] Speaker A: So the system failed her for that. Because he should have literally never been out of the system. Because he's an obvious danger.
Yeah.
[00:17:53] Speaker B: I mean, for them to, like, push aside all that paperwork where she was filing charges against him and not even look into it until three days after she had been killed. Like, the system really did fail her.
[00:18:01] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:18:02] Speaker B: And build her family.
[00:18:03] Speaker A: Yeah. That really sucks. And it makes you. And it. Then you're gonna lose all faith in the system. And this happens time and time again. So people continue to lose faith. Faith in the system. And I can't even imagine how she feels about everything. Like, you know, you. You want to believe that someone you know won't kill.
Like, your father won't kill your mother or them. But honestly, she's lucky that he didn't kill the. Her kids.
[00:18:28] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:18:29] Speaker A: Because a lot of times they become family annihilators and they kill everybody.
[00:18:32] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:18:33] Speaker A: So because there was a guy down in Louisiana that did that. He killed seven kids.
Like, that's just. You know, this system's really messed up in my thing. You know, ultimately, the thing that drives me nuts is it boils down to why can't he just go, leave.
[00:18:50] Speaker B: Right.
[00:18:51] Speaker A: Leave her alone.
[00:18:53] Speaker B: Move on.
[00:18:54] Speaker A: Like, there's always a woman out there that's desperate enough to be with a man. Like, I hate to say it that way, but there literally is. Like, there's always a woman who is like, I want to be with a man.
So there's other women out there. You don't have to stick with that one. Like, I've never understood. I hate it.
I'm like, just leave. Leave that one. But anyone like him, he's going to abuse no matter who he's with. So, like, he doesn't deserve to be with anybody anyway.
[00:19:19] Speaker B: He enjoys the control and he enjoys the abuse, and it. It just continued on.
[00:19:24] Speaker A: Yeah. And I Mean, unfortunately, he seems like the type of guy that this would have been the outcome no matter what.
[00:19:31] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:19:32] Speaker A: Even if it was an earlier outcome. So. But we're, you know, thank you for sharing your story with us. So, so sorry that you had to deal with this.
I can't even imagine how hard that is to have lost, like you said, two parents.
[00:19:46] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:19:46] Speaker A: You know, and. And especially when it sounds like you were decently close to your mom and. And everything and had been there for everything she went through.
It's absolutely disgusting and awful. And, you know, sadly, you're not alone, and this has happened to a lot of people, but domestic violence is terrifying, and it's something that isn't going anywhere.
[00:20:13] Speaker B: I really like how she did break down her story into, like, the seven. Seven times, because that is something that we've talked about on previous episodes when we've connected with the domestic violence shelters is. You know, a lot of times it does take, like, a lot. People will be like, why don't. Why don't you just leave?
[00:20:30] Speaker A: Right.
[00:20:31] Speaker B: And it's not always that easy for them.
[00:20:33] Speaker A: And, I mean, she did finally leave, and then when she did, he killed her.
[00:20:36] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:20:36] Speaker A: And that's. At the end of the day, a lot of times, what ends up happening and why people are so scared to leave is because of that. Because they know that that is a statistic, and that ends up happening for a lot of people. And that's like she said. I. You know, she said, I hate to say, like, why can't my dad. My dad should just killed himself? But, like, that's honestly what I think of all the time. I'm like, if you were that miserable with your life.
[00:20:58] Speaker B: Right.
[00:20:59] Speaker A: Why are you taking someone else out? You know, same thing with active shooters when they go into schools and stuff. I'm like, just take your.
[00:21:04] Speaker B: Take yourself out. Why do you have to kill a bunch of people?
[00:21:06] Speaker A: Right. Because they want to be infamous or they want to hurt everybody else, you know, and it's just disgusting behavior. It's so sad that it's not to say that men aren't killed by women because they are in domestic violence situations. It does happen. But statistically, there's. Men kill women more in domestic violence situations. And so that is something that women have to worry about more than men do.
And that's something we've posted about on our page and stuff and, like, on our social media. And we get men in there that are just like, so you're saying women don't abuse? And I'm like, no, that's not what we're saying. What we're saying is statistically you abuse more.
And usually the men that take offense, I'm like, are you, are you an abuser?
[00:21:55] Speaker B: Right.
[00:21:56] Speaker A: Like, why are you taking offense?
[00:21:57] Speaker B: Right. I mean, yeah, that does happen. And a lot of it, you know, also like men, majority of time are stronger than women too. So, like, our fight back is not the same.
[00:22:07] Speaker A: Right.
[00:22:08] Speaker B: So.
[00:22:09] Speaker A: Right. Yeah.
[00:22:10] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:22:11] Speaker A: As much as, you know, I'm working out and wanting to be 100%, I
[00:22:16] Speaker B: told you I didn't been humbled. I was humbled by a man. And I will, I'll keep my mouth shut.
[00:22:22] Speaker A: But. Yeah, but that's, you know, it's sad because you shouldn't have to do that.
Like, no woman should have to feel that or do that. And, you know, I think one of the things I posted today was it's not all men, but every woman has a story about a man.
And that's absolutely 100 true. I don't know anyone in my life that doesn't have an abusive story of some sort. Yep.
[00:22:45] Speaker B: Whether it's physical, verbal.
[00:22:47] Speaker A: Yep. Emotional, like sexual, like, I don't, I don't know anybody who, out of all my friends, that doesn't have a story that a man caused.
So.
But thank you so much for sharing your story with us. We really appreciate it.
And, and we hope that you are doing okay, that you're getting whatever help and therapy you need yourself in this and just know that there's nothing you could have done.
[00:23:13] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:23:14] Speaker A: So don't, don't blame yourself. But. Well, that's our episode for this week and we'll see you guys next week. Bye, guys. This episode is proudly brought to you by the law firm Ryan and Rouse. If you or a loved one have been injured or need legal help for changing family circumstances, contact the personal injury and family law attorneys at Ryan and rouse today at 256-801-1000 or visit them online at www.alabamalaw.com. when your future is on the line, don't go at it alone.
